Laugh or Cry

Motherhood:  If I didn’t laugh, I would have to cry.  And sometimes I laugh so hard that I do cry.  So either way motherhood has turned me into a teary sap.

The last 4 days have left me feeling spent.

Was it because *someone* changing the thermostat from air conditioning our house at 77 to heating it up to 79? (No one confessing yet).  Was it the rush to the pediatrician this morning for Rachel’s troubles due to her misplaced painting and the following required talk about how no toys should ever touch private areas? Was it the result of singing 100s of songs at church camp this weekend about onions, sharks eating blind jellyfish, and beavers?

I’m not sure.  But I do know that this job of motherhood could never list an accurate description of required duties.   Yesterday I was told by Elise’s piano instructor that her practice this week requires ME to play the songs side by side with her.  (what?  Good thing I play piano).  Seriously considering not paying for a teacher if I have to sit with her the other 6 days of the week at practice.

 I wonder what my mom would have done if my piano teacher had given her the same instruction 30 years ago.  Wait…she never would have…either this motherhood job really has changed or my mom did a much better job of setting boundaries.  Today when my kids expected me to play in their game of ‘stuck in the mud’, I became truly stuck when I tried to squeeze my slightly overweight body under the widespread legs of my 2 year old linebacker that was ‘stuck in the mud’.  It turned into a dogpile on mom.  I wasn’t sure whether 3 kids on my back warranted laughing or crying…but I do think it warrants a massage and perhaps a drink! 

Mostly I hope that I laugh more than I complain.  And that my kids learn to do the same.  I wonder what fun tomorrow will bring! :)

Smile!

We took family photos recently and repeatedly reminded the kids to smile for the camera…turns out my favorite picture of Rachel is the sassy look without a smile.  Sometimes the authentic expressions are more precious than the “happy” ones.

Whether nature or nurture – people have told me and my siblings that we all smile a lot.  Here is a random list of 10 things that made me smile last week:

-          Elise and her dad printed out a list of “fairy books”.  It turns out there are 160 of them and I think Elise intends to read every one!  Did you know there is a ‘guinea pig fairy’ AND a ‘hamster fairy’?

-          Watching my little fellow Stephen…so chunky and all boy….except for the pink princess pull-up that peaks out from the top of his navy shorts!

-          I had to create my own exercise in the ‘Lose It’ app on my phone:  holding 42 lb toddler during tantrum – 50 calories per 10 minutes.  Carrying previously mentioned toddler up stairs during tantrum – 35 calories.  Holding door shut so toddler can’t escape bedroom – 35 calories.  When assigning an icon to the exercise, I picked the wrestling icon.

-          Rachel’s obsession with my phone ended immediately once a new phone was brought in the house. She told me that Sprint is her favorite store.  Her love of cell phones exceeds comprehension.

-          Elise asked me to ‘fast forward backwards’ her tv show.  Need to introduce the word ‘rewind’.  With dvrs and on-demand programs, “live tv” is almost incomprehensible!

-          While  watching my Zumba instructor this week, I happened to glance forward in the mirror and was startled by how the dance moves looked on me.  Don’t know how the instructor keeps a straight face when she is facing us – but from now on my eyes stay on her and I live in the illusion that my dance moves look just like hers.

-          Elise’s love for Great Wolf Lodge exceeded expectations.  The following day in a quiet moment she smiled and said “I just can’t stop thinking about Great Wolf Lodge!!” Very grateful to the Dinsmore family for taking her!

-          Elise’s excitement over being an usher at church this week… she aimed to get there early because the first 2 ushers to arrive also got to pass out bulletins.  Singing in the musical was great for her – but the real highlight was passing out those bulletins!

-          Walking out of preschool last week, Stephen insisted on going back to the classroom.  He had forgotten to give Ms. Hillary a hug.  Sweet boy.

-          Rachel insisted on eating dinner with only a shirt on.  Which was ok until she also insisted on sitting on my lap.  Something about eating dinner with a naked bum on your lap just isn’t right… and I am the girl that doesn’t mind getting in bed with shoes on.

These random moments during the week propel me during the challenging ones and the less amusing tasks of feeding/bathing/cleaning up after 3 young kids.

In high school I co-wrote the following list with Erin Welch on reasons to be happy (creating these lists were a favorite pastime during Mr. Powell’s chemistry class).  Here are just a few excerpts that illustrate the oddities of the teenage mind, and continue to make me smile many years later:

Reasons to be Happy:

-          We haven’t got gingivitis.

-          We don’t work for GM.

-          There was a bumper crop of pineapple this year.

-          You have never been plagued by body lice

-          There is not a dead trout in your purse.

-          Your name is not Glen.

-          You are not presently trapped beneath a 240 lb piece of bark

I hope you smile today and mean it. :)
Here are a few more pictures from our family session.

 

 

 

Sink or Swim

Today the twins began a new swim class.  Last year’s ISR technique (affectionately renamed “drown the baby”) worked beautifully for Stephen and was a disaster for Rachel.  After her repeated vomiting in the pool and panic attacks at the mention of her swim teacher’s name, I decided this year we would at least try another approach. 

So we joined a more user-friendly class that has songs, games, and a sweet young instructor.  After talking it up as “swim games” instead of “swim class”, we were keeping it positive…got the suits on with smiles…and then 45 seconds before they called their names, the disaster of twins struck.  The laid back child squatted and tensed his face…In a slow motion “Noooooooo” I swept him up in my arms and whisked him to the potty to find a swim diaper full of sh*t.  Thus began his crying.  I tossed my wallet to a buddy and asked her to buy me the biggest swim diaper they sold.  I couldn’t bear to wash out the nasty swim diaper and then try to squeeze a WET swim diaper that was already a size too small onto a crying 2 year old.  

While cleaning up the first part of the disaster, the instructor called Rachel’s name.  Without her shadow AND her mom, this sent her nerves over the edge into a complete meltdown that lasted until the final 90 seconds of class.  I let her take fluffy into the pool area…which helped, until she put it in the water and then lost it due to a wet fluffy.  In a matter of 20 minutes, I think she gave the instructor a fair taste of how stubborn she plans to be.  Meanwhile, Stephen sat happily next to his friend Megan and loved every minute of swimming. So again, totally different environment, but a beautiful class for Stephen and a disaster for Rachel.  Hmm…perhaps a trend?

After returning home, Rachel – who has been potty trained for 6 months, smiled at me when she told me she had pooped her pants.  The revenge of a 2 year old.   Then when her dad asked how swim class was – she said it was good, and she got a shower at the end.  6 days 20 more hours until our next class.

Ready To Remember

I officially turn 39 today.  Honestly.  My life today would have been unrecognizable 6 years ago before motherhood snuck into my life.  I went from being ambitious, smart, occasionally witty, adventurous, and fun….. to….. counting the minutes to naptime, making sure 48 hours don’t pass between showers, counting on my fingers.  I now spend my days as a stay at home mom with 3 awesome kids – Elise (6), Stephen (2), and Rachel (2).  Since I had the twins, I have become a bit of a spectacle in our strangely small town.  No longer can I duck in and out of anywhere unnoticed.  When I tell friends and neighbors who are wiser moms of older kids about the events of my week, they will many times tell me that I should write it down so I don’t forget.  My initial reaction is that I will NEVER forget…but then sleep deprivation hits and I do.

So today – 39 – my last year in my 30s.  The day started off wonderful (assuming I turn a blind eye to Rachel waking me up at 2:30 and again at 5 am, at which point I laid on the floor in front of her door for 90 minutes like a mutt so she would go back to sleep). But when I REALLY woke up, my dear husband organized the kids and a few wonderful gifts for me.  The first was from Elise.  She gave me an envelope and explicitly wrote on the outside ‘Dad did not help me’.  Inside the envelope was a sweet note – the comment that melted my heart was “You know me”.  Then in another piece of paper, she had wrapped a $5 bill.  I previously thought money was an impersonal gift, but this was such a considerate gift for her to give me – she treasures her dollars!  On the piece of paper surrounding the bill, again she wrote ‘From only me, Not dad, Not S, Not R’.  I love this girl. 

Next I opened roller skates.  My previous pair became obsolete when my feet grew a size in pregnancy #1.  They are pretty and white with purple wheels and I look at them and feel a breeze in my hair and years younger.

But finally comes the gift that I won’t EVER forget.  2 bras.  I had complained recently to my husband about how expensive they are and I hated to spend discretionary funds on something so boring.  Thus – the 2 bright and crazy bras awaiting me on my birthday.  I love the thought behind the gift.  But even more, I love the thought of my husband standing in Kohls picking out these bras…shuffling through the racks to find the right size.  Checking out.  Then comes the real mystery.  I tried them both on and they fit PERFECTLY.  Tell me how that happens.  I couldn’t have bought 2 better fitting bras if I had tried them on in the store.  So today I wore one of those bras, and have giggled about it all day.  

With a renewed energy and an awesome bra, I packed up the twins in their stroller and strapped up my new roller skates, and we made our way through the neighborhood at a snails pace (with the stroller weight, I was pushing over 100 pounds!  I didn’t feel much breeze in my hair, but it did start to rain a little so that made me feel alive!).  Today I officially created this blog so that I will remember.  After three years in a fog,  I am finally ready to remember.